I don't really give feedback in the best of ways. What I say may be good, but the way I share it isn't the best. Part of this post is to just share my thoughts with myself and have a method of improvement. At the same time I am not alone in the way I offer feedback poorly and so I hope my thinking processes here will help a reader.
In the last few days, I've been thinking hard about how I come across to others and whether it's something I like and am comfortable with, and more importantly why I've been doing it the way I have. I realize I'm a fast thinker, my mind works things out visually and faster than others I may be working with and so I can see things that they'll see 2-3 minutes after me. That could get me agitated as I just want to get on with it. I haven't appreciated their growth and progress and usually just jump in and share my thoughts.
I'm starting to slow down a lot in my life and thinking. I truly live and believe that there is no such thing as an emergency, even in the case of death or accident. So there is no reason to act fast without thinking because that is useless and different to fast action with thinking, otherwise known as the Speed of Implementation principle.
One of the key things I keep missing and forgetting when I give feedback is the idea of SANDWICHING my ideas. The way this works is that you first give praise for the progress and understanding being made so far, then offer your constructive feedback and then close again with a note of praise. Although I can see how this works, I just feel that when this is done people forget the constructive critiscism that is shared and get caught up in the praise instead. I much more prefer to be direct but I know that for some people that don't know me, that can be difficult to take. (More on the feedback sandwich
here) .
I did a search on "how to give feedback" and came to find a post by
Seth Godin. In it, he says that people don't need your opinion and they certainly don't listen to it for improvement. What they would much prefer is your analysis of the situation with suggested alternatives or ideas. For example, "The last three products that succeeded were priced under $30. Is there a reason you want to price this at $31?" is a good way to offer your thoughts and will get them to think.
Part of giving your feedback is mastering your emotions. I mention in many of my talks that mastery of your emotions will give you control and ability to make effective profitable decisions in your business. It is the same if you are going to give effective emotions. There are times in the more distant past when I give feedback and my ego feels better because I know and have shown I am better than the rest. Although I no longer have been doing that and share from a place of content and knowing it is something I felt I should add here because there are others who do that.
So to summarize: I'm going to be a bit more softer in the way I share my feedback, I'm going to coat it with some praise. And I'm going to offer it in public if it is necessary for everyone to hear, using analysis to preframe it, otherwise I will share with the individual(s) in private.
Care to share your experiences and thoughts on offering good feedback?
